How should I deal with my transgender feelings?

by Anonymous
(Netherlands)




That’s an interesting question. When God saves us nothing in the Bible indicates that He changes our gender identity or our sexual orientation. Our God is the God of truth. Jesus called Himself “the Truth,” John 14:6. As disciples of Jesus Christ, God expects us to walk in truth.

“I rejoiced greatly that I found of thy children walking in truth... -2 John 4

“For I rejoiced greatly, when the brethren came and testified of the truth that is in thee, even as thou walkest in truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” -3 John 3-4
Our truth may be unpopular with friends, family and society in general. Yet we owe it to ourselves to ”walk in truth.” And here’s the truth as it is in Jesus. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ spoke with startling clarity in Matthew 19:12 about born eunuchs.

Jesus told us some are born eunuchs, from their mother’s womb. In plainer words, they didn't chose to be eunuchs - they were born that way. The designation “born eunuch” includes gay men, lesbian women and transgender people

Just as gay men and lesbians do not need to be fixed by having their sexual orientation changed, so transgender people do not necessarily need to be fixed.

Some transgender children had a gender chosen for them by their parents or by a doctor. Some transgender children grew up always at odds with their assigned gender. Other transgender people strongly believe that only sexual reassignment surgery will make them feel whole.

There is not a “one size fits all answer” for this difficult issue. The Bible doesn’t say much about transgender issues. And as you will see, the Bible certainly doesn’t say what some anti-trans folks think it says about transgender issues.

For every Christian, the most important thing is to walk in God’s truth according to God’s will. As you grow strong in the Lord He will show you His plan for your life.

It is not God’s plan for you to struggle with loneliness and desperation because you’re trying to fulfill the unrealistic expectations of your biological family or your church family.

Life as a Christian works best when you “Walk in the Spirit,” Galatians 5:16, and learn to follow God instead of Christian fads or Christian opinions which are not based on scripture rightly divided, 2 Timothy 2:15. God doesn’t create automatons therefore God does not expect you to spend your life trying to please people who cannot even understand your situation.

As you grow in the Lord, God will give you some of the answers you seek. He probably will not give you all of the answers. We will struggle with some issues our entire lives because after all, God expects us to live by faith, Hebrews 11:1-6.

I encourage you to prayerfully consider Galatians 3:28.
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”
On a practical level, I encourage you to pursue spiritual growth by learning what the Bible says in context. We offer FREE Bible Study downloads to help you grow spiritually.

You may also find my book Gay Christian 101 helpful since it explains what the Bible does and does not say about gays and lesbians.

My website pages on eunuchs may also be informative so that you learn a balanced Christian perspective instead of the anti-gay anti-trans perspective so prevalent in Christian circles. God loves you regardless of what some Christians say.

Additional information


Transvestism?

A Transgender Comes Out


Original question:

“Hi - I am a 28 year old Indian male suffering from gender identity disorder. My gender identity perception has always been female as early as I can remember. But female feelings and emotions got more pronounced during adolescence. Then I'd acted on it secretly.

The point is I don’t consider myself gay. I rather consider myself straight because mentally I'm a female and thus my strong attraction towards the male sex. But then things changed when I got saved when I was 20. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Saviour.

But since then I've been perceiving my gender identity disorder as the "thorn in my flesh" I had to bear and that God's grace would be sufficient for me to undergo all the struggles, that God had a purpose in my being this way.

But now I come across your site and I'm hit with confusion, as the scriptures in Revelation and other passages were imprinted so strongly in my mind that I'd begun to see that my sexuality was a daily temptation I had to fight but now I am not sure because I hold onto the scripture by every word of it and cannot actually perceive that it holds different meanings in different times.

My prayer to the Lord would always be pertaining to this internal conflict I've been having all these years. So please make things clear as to what should I do with regard to my sexuality. And I could never come out as I'm from a very conservative society in India.”


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Comments for How should I deal with my transgender feelings?

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Dec 12, 2012
Amen!
by: Greg W.

Beautifully written, and with such sensitivity, Rick. I love that passage from Galatians, especially when we sing along to it in "One Bread, One Body" in our worship at my church. I hope the individual who posed the question was able to find some comfort in your answer. God really does have our specific roles and tasks planned for us, as he says in Jeremiah 29:11-

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.'"

Rick's comment: Thanks for your kind comments and excellent point Greg. In Ephesians 2:10, God reminds us that He has plans for everyone who is saved, something important He wants to do with our lives.

"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."

Our good works don't do anything to get us saved or to keep us saved. Instead, as born-again Christians obey God and walk in the Spirit, Galatians 5:16, our good works testify to the life-changing power of God, His goodness and grace. Our lives and our testimony should point our lost friends relatives and neighbors to Jesus.

Jan 30, 2013
For what it's worth, Adam Clarke on Matthew 19:12
by: Anonymous

Eunuchs - Ευνουχος, from ευνην εχειν, to have the care of the bed or bedchamber; this being the principal employment of eunuchs in the eastern countries, particularly in the apartments of queens and princesses. These are they whom our Lord says are made eunuchs by men, merely for the above purpose.

So born from their mother's womb - Such as are naturally incapable of marriage, and consequently should not contract any.

For the kingdom of heaven's sake - I believe our Lord here alludes to the case of the Essenes, one of the most holy and pure sects among the Jews. These abstained from all commerce with women, hoping thereby to acquire a greater degree of purity, and be better fitted for the kingdom of God: children they had none of their own, but constantly adopted those of poor people, and brought them up in their own way. Philo, Josephus, and Pliny have largely described this very singular sect; and Dean Prideaux, with his usual fidelity and perspicuity, has given the substance of what each has said. Connex. vol. iii. p. 483, etc.; edit. 1725. The account is very interesting, and well worthy the attention of every Christian. Among the rabbins we find these different kinds of eunuchs, not only mentioned, but circumstantially described, סריס חמה saris chama, eunuchs of the sun, i.e. eunuchs by the hand of God; men born impotent. סריס אדם saris Adam, eunuchs of men, those who were castrated. And they add a third sort; those who make themselves eunuchs, abstain from marriage, etc., that they may give themselves Up to the study of the Divine law. See many examples in Schoettgen.

He that is able to receive - Χωρειν χωρειτω. These words are variously translated: he who can take; let him take it; comprehend, let him comprehend it: admit, let him admit it. The meaning seems to be, Let the man who feels himself capable of embracing this way of life, embrace it; but none can do it but he to whom it is given, who has it as a gift from his mother's womb.

Rick's comment: The bolded words describe born eunuchs a group which included gays, lesbians and transgendered or gender variant people.

The great Origen, understanding the latter clause of this verse (which I have applied to the Essenes) literally - O human weakness! - went, and literally fulfilled it on himself!

Rick's comment: Adam Clarke, whom you quote above, agrees that the first class of eunuchs are eunuchs of the sun, i.e., eunuchs by the hand of God. Even anti-gay Christian scholars like Dr. Robert Gagnon, agree with us that gays were probably included in the group of eunuchs Jesus describes as born eunuchs.

Thanks for checking out the text links and educating yourself so you'll know the facts.



Jan 31, 2013
For what it's worth, John Gill on Matthew 19:12
by: Anonymous

For there are some eunuchs," Our Lord here distinguishes the various sorts of persons, that can and do live in a single state with content: some by nature, and others by violence offered to them, are rendered incapable of entering into a marriage state; and others, through the gift of God, and under the influence of his grace, abstain from marriage cheerfully and contentedly, in order to be more useful in the interest of religion; but the number of either of these is but few, in comparison of such who choose a conjugal state, and with whom it is right to enter into it, notwithstanding all the difficulties that may attend it. Some men are eunuchs, and of these there are different sorts; there are some,

which were so born from their mother's womb; meaning, not such who, through a natural temper and inclination of mind, could easily abstain from marriage, and chose to live single; but such who had such defects in nature that they were impotent, unfit for, and unable to perform the duties of a marriage state; who, as some are born without hands or feet, these were born without proper and perfect organs of generation; and such an one was, by the Jews, frequently called,"an eunuch of the sun (n)": that is, as their doctors (o) explain it, one that from his mother's womb never saw the sun but as an eunuch; that is, one that is born so; and that such an one is here intended, ought not to be doubted. The signs of such an eunuch, are given by the Jewish (p) writers, which may be consulted by those, that have ability and leisure. This sort is sometimes (q) called "an eunuch by the hands of heaven", or God, in distinction from those who are so by the hands, or means of men, and are next mentioned:

Rick's comment: The rabbis taught that an eunuch of the sun or by the hand of heaven, was physically intact, was capable of producing semen and therefore capable of reproduction.

Mar 25, 2013
A word or two
by: Anonymous

Romans 14:14 -Just read it.

Rick's comment: "I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean." Romans 14:14

Feb 12, 2015
Non-binary?
by: Anonymous

Would the Bible be against non-binary genders? Some people today do not identify as a man or woman but instead non-binary (such as feeling like they are both genders at once or have no gender at all).

Is this wrong? The Bible does not mention these genders. It only seems to speak of God creating man and woman. But non-binary people feel they really were born this way, just as transgender men and women do.

Rick's comment: Interesting question. I don't have a definitive answer but you are correct in saying that the Bible does not mention a non-binary gender. In gray areas like this, which are not specifically addressed in the Bible, we exercise Christian grace and follow the leading of the blessed Holy Spirit.

Everyone, regardless of gender, needs to repent and trust Jesus Christ to be saved.

Jul 29, 2015
transgender feelings
by: Ramona

Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God."

1 Corinthians 11:14-15 "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."

The issue is deception, which is a lie. A lie is a sin. Sin separates you from God, whatever the sin is. I think the bible is pretty clear on all subjects. We are all fallen, and cannot sugar coat anything. God is the Judge. Ask Him for mercy on your soul.

Rick's comment: Hi Ramona - Taking Deu 22:5 and applying it to Christians under grace is an odd way to interpret scripture. I wonder if you are a young Christian or a Christian who doesn't do much Bible study.

For a very long time, Jewish and Christian believers have understood Deu 22:5 to prohibit idolatry. Women wearing that which pertains to a man refers to women dressing up in male military garments as part of their womanly worship of fertility goddesses. More about that on my transgender page.

Sep 30, 2015
Thank you so much!
by: Lexi Eskew

As a child I knew early on that I was mentally not like other guys around me and that I was extremely feminine. I grew up in a Christian school and a very religious household. I do not follow Christianity any longer but most of my family does. Four months ago I came out as transgender to my mom. She says to be accepting of me would send her to hell and that what I am doing is against God. I'm glad there are some out here that believe otherwise. Thank you.

Rick's comment: Hi Lexi - You're welcome. Always remember, God loves you with an everlasting love. Nothing in your life is a surprise to God. He knows your situation and will walk with you through every difficulty you face.

Please do NOT allow anyone to steal Jesus or your joy in the Lord. Use Facebook or other social media to find friends who share your journey and who understand your situation. God has grace and blessing available as you walk the path of His purpose for your life.

What must I do to be saved?

Jan 17, 2016
? about info mentioned above
by: TG

Hi, You mentioned "The designation "born eunuch" includes gay men, lesbian women and transgender people"

I've never heard this before but wanted to share it. Can someone please tell me where this is in the Bible? Thanks and God Bless!

Rick's comment: Hi TG - I have information about eunuchs on my eunuchs pages, starting on this page, Same Sex Attracted Eunuchs

Jan 18, 2016
Trans
by: Kris

I found after many years that you must accept what can't be changed. More and more we are finding that transgender feelings are biologically hard wired and if you hate yourself for who you are at your core, you are going to be miserable. God won't and doesn't change that because you are made that way.

Rick's comment: Amen! About transgender.

Feb 17, 2016
Eunuchs are not homosexuals
by: AR

The bible does not use the term homosexual and eunuchs interchangeably. That is a misrepresentation. Please don't distort the bible.

Rick's comment: Hi AR - I have information about eunuchs on my eunuchs pages, starting on this page, Same Sex Attracted Eunuchs

I hope you will read the info and click on all the text links - I believe you will find it interesting to learn that world-class Bible scholars disagree with you on this topic. Many thanks for stopping by.

May 04, 2016
What if you are wrong
by: Zach

What about the fact that god defines any sexual relations outside of a marriage between a man and women as sexually immoral. Also, that he created you in your mother's womb exactly how he wanted you to be, he makes no mistakes, so how can he make you the wrong gender.

If you say that god made a mistake you are a liar and the truth is not in you. Why would god have you one gender just to come into this earth and use man made processes to change a person into a fake gender. I believe this article should tell homosexuals and transgender people that what thy are doing is wrong, but if you stop totally and repent you can be forgiven.

If you really believe in god and read the bible you should not feel these feeling that are temptations by the devil. If god is truly in you then you will leave these terrible sins behind and put your faith totally in god.

Rick's comment: Hi Zach - Thanks for wrestling with these issues with us. I appreciate your input. I view it this way.

We live in a fallen world, a world corrupted by sin, Romans 5:12. Because God made evil to be the result of sin, some babies are born addicted to drugs. Some babies are born with birth defects. Some babies are born with cancer.

Actions have consequences. If a mother smokes or drinks alcohol or takes drugs while pregnant, that often causes negatives consequences for her child.

Some people are born with gender disphoria. Their biological gender does not match the way they perceive themselves. They are not calling God a liar. They are struggling with a very real dilemma which cannot be resolved as simply as you imply.

I do not believe it is a terrible sin to struggle with gender dysphoria or with how to live a Christian life as a gay or lesbian person. All of us face challenges and struggles and part of being a Christian is to seek God's direction to deal with our struggles.

You titled your comment: What if you are wrong? My answer is, This website explains why I believe I am right. I quote the Bible in context and world class Christian scholars and famous Bible believing Christians down the ages to support my views.

If you are open to truth, I hope you will keep reading this website. There is lots of helpful information which encourages you to embrace God's truth.

May 06, 2016
I think
by: Zach

I understand what you are saying, but I believe that telling gay and lesbian people committing sexual acts are sinning against god, because he only allows sexual acts between a married man and women.

Rick's comment: Hi Zach - I get where you're coming from but I think you're assuming the Bible says things it never says.

1. In context, the Bible never says it's a sin to be gay or to be gay married.

2. The Bible never says the only sex that is allowable is sex between a married man and woman. If you read Genesis 25:1-6, you will notice that Abraham had a wife, Keturah, who used to be his concubine AND Abraham also had concubines, women who were not his official wives, with whom he had sex and sired children.


However, if you are just trying to bring gay and lesbian people into the word of god don't sugar coat this subject to much. If they truly believe in the word of god they should change their ways and if they don't they deceive theirselves. If they say they follow god but remain homosexual they are deceiving themselves that they are forgiven and are whole heartedly believing in god.

Rick's comment: That is what some people believe but the Bible never says that. If people singled out one of your innate characteristics and told you you have to change that innate characteristic or go to hell, and they said, The Bible says that, when it doesn't, you would call them dishonest and mean-spirited.

Yet you are saying that to gays. Please take some time to do more reading and study Zach.



May 11, 2016
God's Word
by: John

In Romans 1 god specifically says that unnatural sexual relations are shameful lusts and cause people to not connect with god. On your website you use people's understanding of the word to describe your arguments.

The final say in all of this is god and the direct meaning of his words. God did not give Paul any of the wrong words or wrong meaning because he is never wrong. Also, I don't believe that god would let the bible be translated wrong because it is his word and he wants us to learn from it and become better people.

Rick's comment: Hi John- In Romans 1, Paul describes shrine prostitutes and their pagan sexual worship of the fertility goddess. He never mentions lesbians and gays. That is the point. Because men with men is mentioned, people who do not study the Bible leap to the false conclusion that Paul can only be talking about gay men and lesbians.

It seems to me you are building a straw man argument which I've never made.

I never say that Paul used the wrong words or that God gave Paul the wrong words.

As far as you not believing that God would allow the Bible to be translated wrong, the Bible has been wrongly translated time after time in all of the new versions. They leave out thousands of words and even entire verses. This link provides more information about that.

Exodus International

May 11, 2016
What can I do?
by: Shemale porn addict

What do you feel about a straight man who is addicted to shemale and transvestite pornography. Are they having transexual feelings or is it a sexual sin. Do I want to become transgender or am I just addicted to the erotic nature of it. I don't really know what to ask so just try to answer something.

Rick's comment: I'm not an expert on this issue. What you've described is a habit that has a powerful hold on you. From the reading I've done, guys who are into shemale and transvestite porn are not wanting to become transgender - they have simply fed a porn addiction to the point where it controls them.

If you're spending hours a day - some porn addicts spend 10 - 12 hours a day viewing porn - then that is a problem which requires professional counseling and a strong desire on your part, to break the habit.

I have this page about porn on my website which you may find helpful.

May 14, 2016
Misreading.
by: Brad

You completely misinterpreted Galatians 3:28 to fit your "Be happy with your confusion and it will be ok with God" rant. That verse is speaking to how things will be in heaven. Meaning we will not have a gender in heaven, nor will we be married, etc...He is not saying it is ok to have a sex change or identify yourself as anything other than the gender He intended you to be.

Rick's comment: Hi Brad - I kindly encourage you to calm your outrage and start studying your Bible.

When a man cannot make a factual argument, he resorts to false accusations. And so, you falsely accuse me of ranting and you even lied about my views.

You say that Galatians 3:28 speaks about how things will be in heaven. While fanciful, that view is not supported by anything in the biblical, cultural, doctrinal, historical, linguistic, literary or religious context.

2 Timothy 2:15 applies to you. Please read it, believe it, memorize it and obey it ASAP. Many thanks.

May 21, 2016
to all
by: Jay

wow, have we gone astray so far that we cant even see GOD word for what it really is. I wish people would stop putting in their own words or definitions of what the Bible says. MAN made up things like LGBT and anyother form of "peoples confusions" in this world, NOT GOD!. HE said, " life and death are set before you, choose whom you will serve; you cannot serve 2 masters. Poeple only use the part that suits them from the Bible and ignore the rest.

Bottom line ITS AN ABOMINATION IN THE EYES OF THE LORD! you are either female or male there is no in between! GOD is not the authur of confusion. People are so far gone with this LGBT they need help cause you cannot change your DNA.

Rick's comment: Hi Jay - A small percentage of people are born with a condition known as gender dysphoria - where their "DNA" or their biological gender does not match the gender they are in their mind.

You can ignore that truth and insist everyone must be like you, who never struggled with gender dysphoria or as a compassionate Christian, you can struggle to understand the intense emotional and mental agony they experience.

We are told in Romans 12:15, "Weep with them that weep." Are you willing to do that? Romans 12:16 has some excellent advice for you Jay. "Be not wise in your own conceits."

Instead of giving a one size fits all answer, why not ask the Lord to give you better understanding and a more compassionate heart?

Some babies are born drug addicted. Some babies are born with cancer. Some babies are born with birth defects. Some babies are born and grow up with gender dysphoria. It isn't a choice and we should extend love and grace to them, not angry condemnation.

May 21, 2016
STOP THE MADNESS
by: jc

Im so done with this whole LGBT and any other crazy titles man puts on people that we really need to evaluate who we are IN CHRIST. who ever does not have truth in them is not from God Paul speaks about that when he says you are of your father the devil.

Rick's comment: Hello again Jay (jc) - Just for the record, Jesus said, "Ye are of your father, the devil..." in John 8:44. Paul didn't say that.

It may come as a surprise to you but there are lots of gays and lesbians and transgender people who are saved and born again. They will be in heaven some day. If you are going to heaven too, why not start getting along with us instead of ranting about us down here and feeling disappointed that God saved us too when you get up there?


Now everyone has a problem witb GODS word and likes to change words to suit them. Revelations speaks of ANYONE who adds or takes away from the Bible! maybe if we read, study, ask God for wisdom and pray from Holy spirit HE just may give you a clear picture of who you really are and not be confused!

Rick's comment: When someone disagrees with you, it doesn't always mean they are confused. Sometimes it means you are confused.

Aug 13, 2016
Same boat
by: Tarsus

I know exactly what your saying I've wanted to be a female for a long time now I purge and get rid of everything and next thing I know I reacummulate everything all over again g

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