Gay Christian FAQ

Gay Christian FAQ - Bible answers
to frequently asked questions

Some Christians are startled to discover that many GLBT Christians love Jesus, study and believe the Bible and live godly Christian lives. Here we answer frequently asked questions using the Bible and common sense. Our busy schedule does not allow time to answer the same questions over and over. And so we built this FAQ page to provide helpful Bible answers in a timely manner. Discover more answers to questions on our Ask A Question page.

Gay Christian FAQ
Answers to frequently asked questions

Our answers may surprise and delight you.

Will Christians who hate gays be held accountable?  
1. Why does God allow homosexual orientation when He knows the pain, rejection, hatred and loneliness we will face? Pain and rejection, hatred and …

Gays are immoral and unspiritual, not real Christians. 
Thanks for so honestly sharing your heart and your beliefs. Sam's original email is at the bottom of this page. I think many Christians view things …

Do centuries of consistent scholarship prove gays are wrong? 
Hi Mark- It is odd that you use the old argument, "everybody believes this way" to prove that I am wrong. You would not accept that faulty reasoning …

I'm an atheist lesbian and I disagree with you. 
I received this from Ravena on April 30, 2012. She describes herself as an atheist and a lesbian. Here are her questions and my answers. Atheist …

I cannot intelligently discuss the clobber passages but I disagree with you. Where am I going wrong? 
This strange email arrived on Sunday afternoon, April 8, 2012. Please pray that Matthew will begin to study the Bible for himself as he grows in the …

Why do you say Leviticus 18:22 is about goddess worship? 
Because that's what experts and scholars say. Listen to James Neill and Dr. Robert Gagnon and conservative mega-church pastor John MacArthur. I don't …

Why are you leading people astray from God's truth? 
I received this email in January, 2012. It is typical of many emails I receive from Christian leaders who refuse to study the Bible in context yet …

How can we overcome our own homophobia? 
When we deal with the gay issue, we're wrestling with deeply ingrained homophobia inculcated in us by society, which in some gays, has become self-loathing. …

Do you love us enough to hear our heart? 
Dialogue between non-gay Christians and LGBTs is sometimes angry and often graceless. What non-gay Christians view as ministering often pushes LGBT …

How can we be sure what Paul was talking about in Romans 1? 
Excellent question! Every honest student of scripture stipulates to the basic historical facts. Temple or cult or shrine prostitutes did serve false …

How can you be a Christian and live the homosexual lifestyle? 
Accusing someone of living the homosexual lifestyle is a snarky way of saying someone is living in sin when you really don't know how I live. Just for …

Can I be a Christian if I don’t believe Jesus is God? 
That's a great question Rob. My honest answer is No, if you deny the most basic Christian belief, that Jesus is God, then by definition, you are not …

In Hebrew, does Leviticus 18:22 really say "while with" a woman? 
No, I don't believe that is at all what the Hebrew text says. Let's go through it carefully. Here is the Hebrew text of Leviticus 18:22. And here …

Can you explain transsexualism? 
Transsexualism is a misunderstood and confusing subject for people who have not studied human sexuality. "What is the difference between a transvestite …

How can immoral homosexual relationships be Christlike? 
You've asked an interesting question about the morality of gay relationships. I respond by challenging your basic assumptions in the hope that you will …

What are your views on pornography? 
Porn is a huge problem not only for lost folks but also for saved folks who self-identify as Christians. Pornography creates a fake world where there …

What does 'You shall not lie with a man as with a woman' mean? 
It means that what Moses is describing is the sinfulness of using sex to worship goat idols, Leviticus 17:7 or to worship Ashtoreth, the fertility goddess …

What words could Paul have used if he intended to condemn homosexuality? 
If Paul intended to condemn homosexuality, he could have used a word from the following list to make his point. Instead of using these words however, …

Strange emails - some clowns are NOT in the circus. 
From time to time we receive crazy arrogant goofy sometimes ignorant (and often just plain silly) emails from professing christians, most of whom are …

Why doesn't Strong's Exhaustive Concordance include your definition of pais? 
Thanks for such an interesting question about the meaning of pais. Strong’s Concordance was published in 1890. His exhaustive alphabetical listing …

Is it okay for lesbians to have children by sperm donation? 
That’s an interesting question. Because we don’t know your personal circumstances, whether you are single or in an emotionally stable relationship, …

How can I reconcile being lesbian and Christian? 
Great question Jane. There is no single verse which says gay and lesbian relationships are okay. I'm sometimes asked: Is there any evidence of an …

Why are straight Christians so dismissive of gay Christians? 
There are lots of factors which motivate non-gay Christians to hate on, ignore, ridicule, dismiss, attack, vilify gay Christians. I'll list seven and …

How can I tell if I'm gay or bisexual? 
There are a number of ways to tell if you're gay or bisexual. I'll do my best to give a thoughtful answer with the hope that other readers will also provide …

What is your answer to Ken Silva? 
Brother Ken Silva over at Apprising Ministries performs an important and much needed service by pointing out false teaching and false teachers who lead …

Did Jesus define marriage as only between a man and a woman? 
Recently Ken Silva of Apprising Ministries used the "Jesus said it ain't okay" argument from Matthew 19:3-7. Here is his email to me and my response. …

How does a mature gay Christian define sexual sin? 
How does a mature gay Christian define sexual sin is such a wonderful question Mollie. I've answered a similar question already, Since gay couples …

What did Paul mean when he used the Greek word arsenokoitai? 
That's a great question because Paul could have used many words if he intended to blast gays and lesbians. Yet Paul used none of those available words, …

How can I know for sure I am saved? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Knowing for sure that we are saved depends on what we're trusting for salvation. If we're trusting a church or our church …

Are there any same sex couples in ancient history? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Thanks for such an interesting question. Same sex activity is mentioned in ancient writings as far back as 4000 years …

How can one be gay and Christian? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - You've asked a question many people ask. There is no short answer except to say that what is commonly taught, that when …

Why would a preacher constantly make anti-gay remarks? 
The situation you describe is troubling and one many Christians must deal with these days. Some preachers appear to be obsessed with gays when they should …

Since gay couples cannot legally marry, is sex in a committed relationship sin? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - No, two people of the same sex in committed relationship are not committing sin when they have sex with each other. Some …

When is it appropriate for a same sex couple to begin a sexual relationship? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - A sexual relationship is appropriate when two people are in committed relationship before God and their community. …

If you're a gay Christian, does God still love you? 
"The love of God is wider than the measure of our mind; And the heart of the Eternal is most wonderfully kind." Yes, God absolutely positively …

Does 1 Cor 6:9 mean I can't be gay AND Christian? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Thanks for the interesting question. Many modern Christians have embraced false teaching about 1 Corinthians 6:9. They …

Does Romans 1:26-27 refer to heterosexuals acting like homosexuals? 
Yes, describing heterosexuals acting like "homosexuals" may be part of what Paul describes in Romans 1:26-27 and by the way, that was the understanding …

Is it possible to change from homosexual to heterosexual? 
Used by permission of slapupsidethehead.com You've asked a very important question. My answer is: No, people do not change their sexual orientation …

How do you answer the verse that says homosexuals will not go to heaven? 
Thanks for the great question. The verse that is alleged to say, 'homosexuals will not go to heaven' is 1 Cor 6:9. "Do you not know that the wicked …

Does Romans say that God gives gay people over to homosexuality? 
No - Romans does not say that or anything even close to that. Paul makes a brilliant argument in Romans 1 by pointing out the results of idolatry. Paul …

How can you say that the Sodom story in Genesis 19 is about lack of hospitality? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Many Christians think of inhospitality as a minor breach of social etiquette, similar to not having clean towels in the …

How do you interpret Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13, man should not lay with man? 
It is always important to consider context when we study the Bible. The context of Lev 18:22 and 20:13 is the Holiness Code which is found in Leviticus …

Does Romans 1:26-27 condemn homosexuals? 
No, Romans 1:26-27 does not condemn gays, transgendered people, lesbians or bisexuals. All Christians have a duty before God to interpret scripture honestly, …

How can you reconcile being gay with what the Bible says? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - It is not possible to give you a three sentence answer to such an excellent question. I encourage you to click on the …

If David and Jonathan were gay, why were they not put to death? 
Thanks for a great question about David and Jonathan. Today when people read the Bible, they tend to read into scripture their own view from the twenty …

How can we build bridges of trust with non-gay Christians? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Achieving rapprochment (establishing friendship and trust) with anti-gay Christians can be a frustrating effort. When …

Does 1 Cor 7:2 exclude gays and lesbians from marriage? 
No, 1 Corinthians 7:2 does not exclude gay and lesbians from a same sex marriage richly blessed by God. Many anti-gay christians wrongly interpret words …

Why are some people homosexual? 
Homosexuality is a normal condition for about 5% of the human population. Scientists and theologians still disagree over what, if anything, causes homosexuality. …

Isn't it true that God hates fags? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Sounds like you've been hanging around Fred Phelps and his strange family. No, the Bible never says that God hates fags, …

Does the Bible say homosexuals will go to hell?  
No, the Bible NEVER says all homosexuals will go to hell. That is a myth based primarily on the NIV mistranslation of 1 Corinthians 6:9 plus the modern …

Why and how was the Bible mistranslated? 
The old King James Bible is the most accurate and the most gay friendly Bible in the English language. It never uses the word homosexual and it …

What is the mark of the beast? 
Whatever you do, never take the mark of the beast. Your best pro-active solution to avoid taking the mark is to get saved today . Satan is an expert …

Is Jesus describing gays in Matthew 19:12?  
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Yes, I do believe Matthew 19:12 describes gays. That is even the view of some very anti-gay Christians like Dr. Robert …

God saves gays but do you think He wants them to stay gay? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - God delights in saving gays and everyone else who repents of sin and trusts Jesus Christ alone for salvation. Nothing …

Is it true that I will go to hell because I am a lesbian and how can I know for sure? 
No, the Bible never says lesbians are going to hell because they are lesbians. And you can know for sure you are going to heaven when you die. The Bible …

Gay marriages can't produce children so case closed, right? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - That's a very interesting question. Let's look at it from a scriptural viewpoint. Does the Bible forbid barren women …

Isn't it all about sex for you gays and lesbians? 
No, being gay, lesbian, transgender or bisexual isn't all about sex. Being GLBT is an innate orientation, almost never a choice made by the individual. …

What is the purpose of committed gay relationships? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - In the Bible, the primary purpose for marriage (what some gays and lesbians call a committed faithful partnership) is …

Can you help us find a church for our son who is gay? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - This is an email I received recently asking for help in locating a gay-friendly church. "My 18 year old son, who …

Are lesbians treated the same as gays in the Bible? 
From a purely scriptural perspective, lesbians are treated exactly the same as gay men in that lesbians are never mentioned in a negative way in the …

How can a person be a Christian and gay at the same time? 
Cristino writes: "I was in the gay lifestyle for more than half of my life until I came to know Christ as my God and Saviour. I repented of all …

Is there any evidence of an actual gay marriage in the bible? 
To answer your question, we first have to describe marriage in the Bible. For the first 2600 years of the Old Testament, from Adam to Moses, a marriage …

Can you suggest reliable, sound Bible commentaries which are not anti-gay? 
Most modern Bible commentaries tend to be anti-gay when dealing with the clobber passages and marriage. Those which are not anti-gay often tend to be …

Are nocturnal emissions or wet dreams normal or sinful? 
"If any man among you becomes unclean because of a nocturnal emission , then he shall go outside the camp. He shall not come inside the camp," -Deuteronomy …

Do you acknowledge pedophilia in any way? If not, why do you say that the centurion Jesus talked to in Matthew 8 had a gay lover? 
Your question implies that if gays view the Centurion and his servant as a partnered same sex couple, then gays must be pedophiles. I've dealt with …

How could David have a romantic, sexual partnership with Jonathan when it is written that he had wives/children and even committed adultery with Bathseba? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers Great question Cyril. Many gay men and lesbian women have biological children. Entering a heterosexual marriage and having …

Does Romans 1:26 condemn lesbians? 
No, Romans 1:26 does NOT condemn lesbians. Some anti-gay Christians believe Paul is condemning lesbian sexuality because of Romans 1:26. "For …

How did you decide that Romans 1:26 does not condemn lesbians? 
We believe Romans 1:26 does not condemn lesbians based on context and the words used by Paul. Its important to remember that Romans 1:26 was written …

Can a person who commits suicide be forgiven? 
Sampson commits suicide, Judges 16:28ff. My heart grieves with you over the loss of your beloved son. I know the pain …

Where can I get some good gospel tracts to pass out? 
CustomTractSource.com has some way cool money tracts that are really easy to pass out. Check out their Dino-bucks, Star Wars and other innovative …

Does the Bible say that Jesus spent three days and three nights in hell (sheol or hades)? 
As I understand it, Jesus did go to hell for a brief period of time, according to Acts 2:31 (Peter is quoting Psalm 16:8-11) but Jesus probably did …

How can you say that Romans 1 has nothing to do with homosexuality? 
We understand that Romans 1 has nothing to do with homosexuality because gays and lesbians are never mentioned in Romans 1. There were many common …

Why do homosexuals believe that homosexuality is not a sin? 
Homosexuals believe homosexuality is not a sin because there is nothing sinful about people's sexual orientation per se. Homosexuality and heterosexuality …

What study Bibles do you recommend? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Study Bibles are quite helpful because they provide context, explanation and historical info on difficult verses. The …

Are mainline evangelicals becoming more open to homosexual Christians? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - The move toward accepting gay Christians as part of the body of Christ is clearly observable in the Emergent Church movement …

Did God intend men or women to have committed same sex marriage partnerships? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - That's an interesting question. First, God certainly knew that committed, same sex marriage partnerships would be part …

What Bible are you using to defend your gay Christian position? 
The King James Version is the most God-honored English translation and in my opinion, is absolutely the best Bible for English speaking people. The King …

Is gay marriage scriptural? 
Yes, gay marriage falls within the range of what can reasonably be called scriptural. Here is our reasoning. "But from the beginning of creation, God …

Does "likewise" in Romans 1:27 equate gay sex with lesbian sex? 
One of the popular mis-interpretations of Romans 1:26-27 is that its talking about lesbians in v. 26 and gay men in v. 27. I disagree with that view …

How could a good God allow evil in the world? 
That's a great question! When we wrestle with how a good God could allow evil to exist in the world, implicit in our wrestling is the idea that God …

I think I might be bisexual 
Hi, I'm 15 and have recently come to terms with my sexuality. I think I am bisexual. I told my best friend and she is doing all she can to convince me …

What does the Greek word akatharsian mean in Romans 1:24? 
In Romans 1:24, Paul uses the Greek word ἀκαθαρσίαν akatharsian, translated in the KJV as uncleanness, to describe the idolatry of temple prostitutes. …

God has been phenomenal! 
I've been given permission to publish this as a testimony of God's grace in the gay community. Her first email to me. I am sharing this in …

Should Christians meditate or use Lectio Divina? 
Thanks for the excellent question. Christian meditation which is focused on the Bible is perfectly fine but No, we should not use pagan meditation …

Is everything in the gospel of Matthew applicable to Christians? 
Historically speaking, Jesus was the Jewish Messiah to Jews who lived in the land of Israel under the law of Moses in the first century A.D. His message …

A Life Transformed 
I cannot express in words how grateful I am to have found this website. My path to Christ has been a slow, long, and then of a sudden--quick and bright …

Are Christians supposed to judge? 
Yes, of course Christians are supposed to judge. We read, believe, obey and apply what we read in the Bible to everything we encounter in life. Only …

Was Judas a hero or a villain? 
The Bible portrays Judas Iscariot as a thief and a treacherous villain. Nothing in the text of inspired scripture leads us to believe Judas was a …

How can we remain strong in the face of anti-gay attacks? 
Great question Sparrow! GLBTs, both Christian and non-Christian, are constantly assaulted by christian "ministries" preaching lies about gays and lesbians. …

How do you interpret Romans 1:27? 
Romans 1:27 is not now and never has been a reference to two men falling in love and partnering to spend their lives together. Romans 1:27 describes the …

How can I reconcile homosexuality and my desire to be right with God? 
Reconciling your homosexuality with your heart's desire to be right with God is not a big problem IF you start by reading scripture in context. Only …

How can I get my mother to accept that me being gay is not a sin? 
I know how frustrating it can be, trying to explain to your parents that being gay is not the sin they think it is. Many Christians are taught that …

Can you convince me that Romans 1 is NOT talking about gays and lesbians? 
There are many Godly reasons to reject the tired old argument that "Romans 1 is talking about gays and lesbians." I'll list a few reasons here and provide …

How do you know if you're homosexual? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - Our wonderful God created us as complex beings who need emotional, physical and spiritual companionship to thrive. Answering …

How do I answer verses which seem to condemn gays? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - The clobber passages are often used like a weapon against gays and lesbians. The clobber verses most often quoted to "prove" …

Does becoming a Christian make you heterosexual? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers - No, becoming a Christian does not make gays into straights or homosexuals into heterosexuals. When God saves us, He doesn't …

Does the Bible say anything about watching gay sex online? 
Our conduct as Christians is supposed to glorify our holy God. Often we fall short of living up to God's standard due to laziness or self-will, where …

What are some hints to know if I'm gay?  
Sparrow Answers - Victoria's comments are bold and Sparrow's answers follow. “I'm only 14, and this is when you're supposed to figure out …

Can you please show in scripture where God accepts a loving, committed gay relationship? 
Rick Brentlinger Answers- Concerned Christian also said: "I have found passages were God encourages marriage between a man and woman, and he …

Why didn't God make homosexuals with the ability to reproduce? 
That's an interesting question but it rests on assumptions which are not true. First, your question assumes that God intended everyone to reproduce. …

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This page updated October 9, 2014