God has been phenomenal!

by A rejoicing and saved lesbian
(In a happy place)

DC Pride, June 9, 2012

DC Pride, June 9, 2012

I've been given permission to publish this as a testimony of God's grace in the gay community.

Her first email to me.

I am sharing this in strictest confidence Pastor Rick. I have only just come to terms with being lesbian, after struggling with this for years. I have known the Lord since age 18, so I know you understand my previous conflicts. Thank you for showing me what the Bible really says.

The road ahead seems the hardest possible one, to stand with those who are mocked and condemned by most. Your grace and patience in answering all the hate mail is truly inspirational. I just pray that I will have your courage and strength.

As it is, I have yet to come out at church because I am afraid. I have only come out to myself, my husband and a few supportive friends but it is the most significant thing I have ever done in that I am finally at peace with myself.

I endured years of emotional abuse because I always thought I deserved it for my 'unnatural inclinations.' Now I know this is untrue. Still, it's a long road ahead. I will continue to study the Bible and trust God. I have to for the sake of my daughter. She is everything to me and I am her sole caregiver.

A snippet of my response.

Thanks for writing to me. It sounds like you have had some real struggles coming to terms with who you are in Christ. I'm praying that the Lord will give you a clear understanding of His perfect will for your life and peace in your heart as you raise your daughter... I hope this information and the links are helpful to you. Please keep in touch and let me know what God is doing in your life. - Pastor Rick

Her second email three months later.

Lovely to hear from you! I've come a long way since I emailed you. God has been phenomenal! I did come out at church and got kicked out. Went through a couple months of depression but always cried to the Lord for light at the end of the tunnel. He has since answered in spectacular fashion!

I have met the love of my life, found an evangelical gay affirming church home, sorted out my personal life including my daughter being completely okay with all the changes and good terms with my ex-husband. Everything is just SO awesome.

The songs have returned to my heart and I feel the joy of the Lord bubbling over inside me in a depth and fulness I never experienced before. Others have remarked on how relaxed and happy I seem now compared to before. It is astounding how different the world looks when I can see it through my natural-born gay-oriented eyes instead of through the eyes of someone always trying to live up to others beliefs, including what I thought were God's, straight-oriented expectations. I feel truly liberated.

I really appreciate the initial education I got from your website at the time I truly needed guidance. God bless you and your ministry Pastor Rick. Thanks for all the Bible study links. I will study them with my girlfriend.

Her most recent email.

I just had the most amazing week ever. My girlfriend and I spent a week overseas, sorting out her mom's house. Anyway, I am so so so amazed at how well matched we are and how spectacularly the Lord has provided the right person for me. She is the most wonderful person I have ever met and our week abroad was one of the happiest of my entire life. She said it was the same for her too.

She's gone back home now and I'll be overseas a while longer, helping to sort out a few more things before I return home. I'll be spending Christmas and New Year with her, before heading home.

We plan to marry next year, after sorting out the logistics of moving and settling in another country. We can have our wedding at my new church. I've already mentioned it to my pastor. I never imagined I could experience such joy Pastor Rick. I'm overwhelmed when I think of how much the Lord is blessing me. I now truly know what Jesus meant when He said "the kingdom of heaven is within you." Luke 17:21. I really feel it.

Permission granted

You have my permission. I definitely would like to encourage everyone else who's still struggling. Of course there is a reason to go on!

"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NIV

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