Did God intend men or women to have committed same sex marriage partnerships?

by Kevin
(Miami, FL)

Jonathan and David were intimate partners

Jonathan and David were intimate partners

Rick Brentlinger Answers -

That's an interesting question. First, God certainly knew that committed, same sex marriage partnerships would be part of the social fabric. Second, God certainly blesses committed, same sex marriage partnerships. Third, God never said anywhere in scripture that He will only bless a marital relationship exactly like the Adam and Eve model.

Scripture warns that "our love should not be hypocritical, that we should abhor that which is evil and cleave to that which is good." -Romans 12:9.

Therefore, compassionate Christians seek to obey the spirit of what God said by "rejoicing with them that rejoice and weeping with them that weep" Romans 12:15. It is our Christian duty to compassionately address the emotional and sexual needs of our gay brothers and lesbian sisters.

Consigning gay men and lesbians to a lifetime of celibacy and loneliness is not supported in the Bible. Is there anything in scripture which points us in a compassionate direction as we answer the question which basically asks:

Can God bless two men or two women in committed, faithful, same sex partnership?

"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?" -1 John 3:17, NIV

The verse speaks of material needs like food and clothing but what good does feeding and clothing a man do if his heart is broken and lonely and you ignore that need?

Is it possible that God intends non-gay Christians to deal as compassionately with gays and lesbians as they deal with divorced and remarried persons? Surely there are some honest Christians who will admit that scripture has no word of reproach, no breath of censure - none at all - for committed, faithful, same sex partnerships.

Instead, scripture limits its condemnation to same sex acts which are linked to idols and fertility goddess worship. Spirit-filled Christians can therefore, lovingly affirm, bless and welcome gays and lesbians and can affirm our committed partnerships without violating Scripture.

Some assert that God never intended men to marry men or women to marry women and therefore, God could never bless same sex marriages. Yet there are millions of blessed and happily partnered same sex couples around the world. What might a God-blessed same sex partnership look like?

Godly Same Sex Partnerships Are:

  1. Based on self-sacrificing love - Example of Crown Prince Jonathan renouncing his claim to the throne of Israel out of love for David, 1 Samuel 18:1-3; 19:2, 20:31, 23:17.

  2. Based on loyalty and trust - Example of Jonathan and David, whose loyalty to each other was so strong that both made a covenant to protect each other's family forever, 1 Samuel 20:42, 2 Samuel 9:1.

  3. Based on desire to spend their lives together - Example of David and Jonathan, who managed to steal time alone together in spite of busy lives and King Saul's violent opposition to their intimate partnership, 1 Samuel 20:30-31; 23:16-18.

  4. Based on God's evident affirmation and blessing - Example of Jonathan and David: God always contrasts J & D's obviously blessed partnership, 1 Samuel 18:1-3, 19:2, with David's sad and loveless marriage to Princess Michal, 2 Samuel 6:14-23, and David's stress-filled relationship with King Saul, who tried to kill David at least seven times.

  5. Based on God's providential leading in the lives of both men - Example of Paul and Luke, Paul and Barnabas, Paul and Silas, Paul and Timothy. I am not suggesting that Paul had intimate same sex partnerships with any of these men. Paul's honest testimony about himself was that he lived a celibate life, 1 Corinthians 7:7-8.

    Nonetheless, we notice that God partnered these men together in ministry, based on their mutual love for God and their mutual desire to preach the gospel to people who never heard of Jesus.

  6. Based on God's clear statements in scripture -

    "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

    For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

    Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
    -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

    English Commentator John Gill sounds like he is describing a gay marriage although the idea would scandalize him

    "Two are better than one…
The wise man takes occasion, from the solitariness of the covetous man before described (v. 8), to show in this and some following verses the preferableness and advantages of social life;

    which, as it holds true in things natural and civil, so in things spiritual and religious; man is a sociable creature, was made to be so; and it was the judgment of God, which is according to truth, and who can never err, that it was not good for man to be alone, Genesis 2:18.

    It is best to take a wife, or at least to have a friend or companion, more or less to converse with. Society is preferable to solitariness; conversation with a friend is better than to be always alone; the Targum is,

    "two righteous men in a generation are better than one''

    such may be helpful to each other in their counsels and comforts, and mutual aids and assistances in things temporal and spiritual. The Midrash interprets this of the study in the law together, and of two that trade together, which is better than studying or trading separately;

    because they have a good reward for their labour;
    the pleasure and profit they have in each other's company and conversation; in religious societies, though there is a labour in attendance on public worship, in praying and conferring together, in serving one another in love, and bearing one another's burdens,

    yet they have a good reward in it all; they have the presence of Christ with them, for, where two or three are met together in his name, he is with them; and whatsoever two of them agree to ask in his name they have it; and if two of them converse together about spiritual things, it is much if he does not make a third with them;

    besides they have a great deal of pleasure in each other's company, and much profit in their mutual instructions, advices, and reproofs; they sharpen each other's countenances, quicken and comfort each other's souls, establish one another in divine truth, and strengthen each other's hands and hearts." -The New John Gill Exposition of the Entire Bible

  7. Based on God's principle that commitment is better than fornication - 1 Cor 7:2ff

"God never said anywhere in scripture that He will only bless a marital relationship exactly like the Adam and Eve model. The part of male-female complementarity that we disagree with is the unscriptural teaching that the Genesis account of the Creation of Adam and Eve gives scriptural warrant for the false Complementarian teaching that God intended to outlaw, forbid, prohibit, every other kind of marriage relationship, based on the Genesis account. That is reading into scripture something scripture assuredly does not say.

In His eternal wisdom, our loving God makes about 5% of the human population gay and lesbian. We believe that scriptures like Matthew 19:11-12 and I Corinthians 7:1-9 indicate God's approval of gay and lesbian relationships which are within the Biblical moral framework - committed, faithful, noncultic."

David and Jonathan were probably an intimately partnered, same sex couple.

Gay couples in the Bible

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Comments for Did God intend men or women to have committed same sex marriage partnerships?

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Jan 18, 2010
My 2 cents
by: Anonymous

How sure are you to say that Jonathan and David are gays, having intimate relationship? You just want to blind people's eyes to tolerate same sex marriage partnership. I don't discriminate gays but please don't use the Scriptures to justify what "YOU" had become.

Feb 04, 2010
Twist of Faith
by: Anonymous

You have twisted scripture and have done a great job of it. No where did you quote the book of Leviticus where it bans sexual relations between the same sex.

No where have you talked about Sodom and Gomorrah and why God destroyed it. No where have you talked about where God spoke in Matthew 19 about marriage.

You are living in denial and have used your Bibles against God's word. This however is not a debate. If you feel you are right then at Eternity you will find out who is truly right and wrong. It won't be here on Earth. I leave it to the individual. I don't agree with the way you have used Scripture.

Have a great day.

Sep 24, 2011
You should stop making the Bible fit your agenda.
by: Anonymous

"God never said anywhere in scripture that He will only bless a marital relationship exactly like the Adam and Eve model. The part of male-female complementarity that we disagree with is the unscriptural teaching that the Genesis account of the Creation of Adam and Eve gives scriptural warrant for the false Complementarian teaching that God intended to outlaw, forbid, prohibit, every other kind of marriage relationship, based on the Genesis account. That is reading into scripture something scripture assuredly does not say." - Rick B.

Well now. I think it is YOU that is reading into scripture something scripture assuredly does not say. God certainly didn't say anything about gay sex or marriage being right. God DOES in fact give us examples of how he wants us to act in many verses regarding a MAN and a WOMAN.

Jun 10, 2012
God's word
by: Anonymous

I agree with others when they say, you have taken God's word and twisted it to suit your gay tendency's. When reading our God's word, please read all of it and keep an open mind. The things you are spreading about our God's word is poisoning our younger generations. please stop!!!!

Oct 26, 2012
Love One Another
by: Anonymous

Hey, know that, no matter who you are, no matter the choices you make, God does love you, and desires good things for you! We are called to holiness --- but remember, Christ died for us while we were yet sinners! He loves you deeply! And He has plans and future for you! Bless you today!

May 31, 2013
read the bible
by: Anonymous

First let me say God will not recognize same sex marriage.. God said man and women shell unite as one and man she'll part from his mother and father...exc what Bible are yaw reading from..don't be mislead nor will same sex marriage be recognized under the law of God and it won't be bless... read your Bible.. all of it

Rick's comment: You will never grasp God's truth until you learn to read the Bible in context. That is job #1 for every Christian who wants to please God.

Job #2 is getting over yourself. If you take the attitude that, because you have not heard it, it cannot possibly be right, you doom yourself to irrelevance.

Truth you've never heard before is still truth. The fact that you are unfamiliar with a truth does not indicate it is wrong. Instead, it indicates that you need to do more study and learn to listen to the blessed Holy Spirit as you read the Bible.

Feb 27, 2014
Pharisees in our midst
by: AJ

So many Christians today are like the Pharisees, hypocrites and citing the Bible for their purposes and not God's. Follow Jesus. The Bible is very clear that everyone of you here has a huge plank in your eye. Love your neighbor as yourself - do not condemn.

Oct 27, 2014
You are either misguided or worse
by: Ray Braddy

Your thoughts on gay relationships are very misguided. I won't even try to speak to them as the Bible is clear about this particular sin. However I would remind you of a couple of other scriptures. James 3, "Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." That scripture alone, ought to make you tremble. James and Peter also are very clear about false teachers/prophets.

Rick's comment: Hi Ray - From time to time people who don't study and who don't know much about the Bible accuse me of being a false teacher because I disagree with their pet beliefs or their false teaching.

It would do you a world of good to read, memorize and obey 2 Timothy 2:15 in the old King James Bible. It will also be helpful to your spiritual life if you remind yourself NOT to believe everything you think. Many thanks for stopping by.

What must I do to be saved?

Jun 27, 2015
Not True
by: Jace Windex

I'm sorry but I believe if god intended people of the same gender to be together then he would've given them the ability to create human life. The fact that only man and woman can create life means they were the only ones meant to be together and that only they can preserve their bloodlines and further progress human life.

Rick's comment: Hi Jace - Say what? 95% of humanity is not gay. About 5% of humanity is gay or lesbian. Are you saying that heterosexuals who cannot reproduce should not be allowed to marry? Or do you just believe that about gays and lesbians?

Feb 05, 2018
Why aren't they made to fit?
by: Jesse

If we look at marriage and what it’s for it’s 1. To build each other up into Christ likeness 2. To care for the family and it’s kind of a symbol of God’s love.
And let’s face it, it is clearly not natural for a man to have sex with a man and a woman to have sex with a woman. It’s just not biologically natural at all. And they can’t have kids which is a huge part of marriage I believe.
Also all the passages it talks about the man leading the household basically. How he should care for his wife and how he should instruct her.

Sep 02, 2018
The previous comment; reproduction
by: Chris

What about Hagar? The site author brings up relevant points. What else are we advocating by eisegesis? The president's Hollywood Access bus comments? How are those not what Lot offered them by way of his daughters? Lots of terms are Freudian. Two men in a bed. One stays one goes. "Ad higdil" in relation to David and Jonathan. Leviticus had a context, no? Many times, what was translated as "bed", was translated "as you layeth" in there. There is a rainbow in genesis and in revelation and what is its true meaning? Strange flesh in the greek is hetero flesh. Is angels. Entertaining unawares; what you do unto the least of these. The wors you're looking for is "qadesh". That is always what was spoken about. Sacred prostitution. Plato doesn't change that for me. Don't know about yourself, though. How people swore promises to eachother. What we called friends who were obviously the word for lovers. Ruth and Naomi. It goes on and on. No male nor female in Christ. The 144,000. Born eunuchs. People said at first that that refers to hermaphrodites. Like come on. What has a greater chance? That they saw them as "gay" out of the womb? Or that all these ancient people know what else that "born eunuchs" could mean. But most people ignore all that. Can men not marry Christ? Look up about "brotherly adoption" ceremonies the early church used to have

Dec 20, 2018
Mercy over judgment
by: Dave

Rm 14:19 - On one hand is a reading, readings and commentary, on the part of the author that promotes an peaceful attitude in the heart of the humble believer.

On the other hand is an inclination, or inclinations toward judgment and condemnation.

So from what I can gather, it should be obvious the approach. To hate the sin, and to love the sinner.

Jm 2:13

Rick's comment: Hi Dave - Hate the sin and love the sinner - Does that mean God's displeasure is against sin but not against the sinner? Would anyone argue that God is displeased with murder but feels no displeasure toward murderers?

God loves sinners, not in the sense that he does not hate them along with their sin, but in the sense that he also seeks their salvation in Christ, Isaiah 9:12-21.

"For all this his anger is not turned away, BUT his hand is stretched out still."

God's attitude toward sinners is antagonism and wrath while at the same time his good will toward them actively seeks their repentance and salvation.

Hate the sin but love the sinner? God doesn't send the sin to hell - He sends the unsaved sinner.

What must I do to be saved?

Dec 28, 2018
Mercy over judgment
by: Dave

Re: Ecclesiastes 7:29- "Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions."

I don't know if/how God can love someone in spite of their sins. What I do know is that His mercies are abundant for sinners, 1 John 2:2.

"And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world."

Rick's comment: Amen Dave!

What must I do to be saved?

Feb 21, 2019
by: BetaMax

Hi thank you for writing this article. I appreciate that you wrote this a while back now and so I am wondering what has lead you to some of the conclusions especially in terms of SSA only being negative in terms of idol worship.

When I look at these in context I am not coming to that same conclusion.

You suggest that God would be happy with a SS union. I am struggling to find something that would support this view.

When I look at Genesis 1 and 2 and then later to Jesus I only see the union between a man and a woman being ordained by God.

The reason for these questions is when I look at what is written it doesn't match up with what Sam Allberry is saying on this subject.

its seem to be a polar opposite.

Rick's comment: On the NavBar of this website, you may click on the various clobber passages for information that answers your questions. For example:

Adam and Eve

FREE - My Sodom 101 Seminar
Genesis 19 - Study Guide Questions

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