Why are straight Christians so dismissive of gay Christians?

by Tilly

Reuben Israel says 'God abhors you'

Reuben Israel says 'God abhors you'

There are lots of factors which motivate non-gay Christians to hate on, ignore, ridicule, dismiss, attack, vilify gay Christians. I'll list seven and hopefully our readers around the world will add more factors/reasons in the Comments section at the bottom of this page.

1. The lack of spiritual discernment factor. Most Christians lack spiritual discernment. Therefore they operate in the realm of feelings or "this is what we've always believed" or "I've never experienced that so it cannot be valid for anyone else."

Since they form their opinions based on emotion instead of reason, this quotation applies. You cannot reason someone out of a belief they were never reasoned into.

2. The scriptures rightly divided factor, 2 Tim 2:15. Many Christians base what they believe on verses taken out of context. If non-gay Christians took time to study the alleged anti-gay verses in context they would discover that the Bible doesn't say what it is alleged to teach.

3. The fear of affirming sin factor. The gay community is viewed as embracing sin because some gays live sinful lives. During Mardi Gras many heterosexuals indulge in public sexual excess yet Christians don't refuse to affirm heterosexuality for fear they will be viewed as affirming sin. Just so, we can affirm homosexuals and their committed partnerships without condoning sin in general.

4. The fear of destroying marriage and western society factor. It is often preached that since God destroyed Sodom for the sin of homosexuality, we must always fight homosexuality lest God destroy us. Some preachers yell, "If God doesn't destroy San Francisco, He'll have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah!"

Obviously "all those gays" are out to "destroy" the institution of marriage and we can't allow that. Of course facts on the ground tell a different story. No verse of scripture says that God destroyed Sodom for the sin of homosexuality.

And heterosexuals seem to be doing a pretty good job on their own of undermining marriage with their rampant divorce rates and their obsession with having sex outside of marriage. Gays on the other hand, after decades of being told we're too promiscuous, are seeking the right to settle down and legally marry.

5. The ick factor. Many heterosexuals have difficulty getting past their mental images of what homosexuals "do." They sometimes bring up anal sex as reprehensible, apparently forgetting that heterosexuals have for thousands of years used anal sex as a primitive method of birth control.

And statistics tell us about 25% of heterosexual couples have engaged in anal sex while about 10% do so on a regular basis. On the other hand, while many gay men have engaged in anal sex, only about 66% of gay male couples do so on a regular basis. That leaves about 34% of gay men who do not engage in anal sex.

6. The no grandchildren factor. It is normal and certainly understandable that many parents worry they will never have the joy of grandchildren from their gay or lesbian children. The answer to this is that many gays and lesbians want children if society will legally accommodate them being parents.

7. The theological liberal factor. Many in the gay community have rejected foundational Bible doctrines like justification by faith alone in Christ alone, substitutionary blood atonement by Jesus, our Lord Jesus as the only way to heaven and the Bible as our rule of faith and practice.

Many gays have also embraced false doctrines like Universalism, the false teaching that everyone is already saved without trusting Jesus Christ or that there are many ways to heaven or that Jesus is just one in a long line of "legitimate" spiritual masters.

Anti-gay Christians have legitimate concerns about these false teachings. I have the same concerns and refuse to put links on my website to other gay Christian sites which promote these false teachings.

Having never studied the clobber passages in detail, anti-gay Christians fear that affirming their gay brothers and lesbian sisters means affirming the false doctrines held by so many in the gay community.

Our job is to preach and teach God's Biblical truth and keep steering the conversation back to what the Bible says, in context. We can believe the Bible and affirm our gay brothers and lesbian sisters without becoming theological liberals.

How could a good God allow evil in the world?

What are practical ways to change the
anti-gay bias of evangelical Christians?

How can we build bridges of trust
with non-gay Christians?

We've answered the question about
straight Christians dismissing gay Christians.
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Comments for Why are straight Christians so dismissive of gay Christians?

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Mar 19, 2014
Lost Everything
by: Anonymous (I'm sorry, I have my reasons)

My best friend J. (I changed his name for the sake of privacy in this comment) committed suicide recently because he was gay and was hated by the world for reasons he couldn't understand.

Despite the horrible treatment he had gotten for being gay (despite being in the closet, but people still accused him of it and treated him as such), he believed that so long as God loved him, he was okay. But then there was a point where he was told by other Christians that God hated him, was disgusted with him, and regretted creating him because he was gay, and then used bible verses like Leviticus 18-20 as "proof."

J. was devastated by this and started to hate himself again. He absolutely loved God and couldn't see himself any other way than being with God, so to believe that God would reject him pierced his heart. He tried to "change" into a straight person, thinking that one day if he were successful, and if he still loved God by then, then God would finally love him back.

He was unsuccessful after several years, and he eventually took his own life. I lost everything that mattered to me that night. Gay people are several times more likely to commit suicide or sustain a mental disorder related to depression than a straight person. 8-9 times more likely to kill themselves, should they be adolescents rejected by their parents.

Please help me understand. Why do straight Christians put gays through suicidal depression, and then still call themselves loving?

Rick's comment: So many professing Christians are hatefully anti-gay. I am so sorry to hear of this terrible experience. Know that God loves gay people and that you CAN be a Christian and still be Gay Lesbian Bisexual or Transgendered.

If you're a gay Christian, does God still love you?

Do you love us enough to hear our heart?

Nov 08, 2014
Good question and more than valid
by: Tony

Having struggled with depression throughout my life, I'm 34 now, most of this was during my teens. Now I can't help those that are already dead but I can offer support to those who think they have no one who cares, when quite often, the reverse is true.

I don't know why so many conservative christians feel so hateful towards the LGBT community. However I do know that the hatred is learned, not born with. I'm very sorry for your friend and what he endured, and I assume you weren't sure how to reach out and support him, feel free to correct me, I'm not judging you. I hope this comment was helpful and welcome your feedback. Again, my sincere condolences, God bless you.

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