How can a married transgender M2F honor God?
Thank you for writing to us. I am blessed by your desire to honor God with your life. While I don't have any magic answers which will make everything right, I believe God does have a wise purpose for everything He allows.
I invite others to gently Comment if you can be helpful to Steph. Special thanks to Sparrow for her wisdom in helping to answer Steph's original question.
"In the largest ever genetic study of transsexuals, Australian researchers have discovered a DNA variation linked to male-to-female transsexualism.
The finding strengthens the view that there is a biological reason why some people feel they are living in the wrong body, in this case men who have a strong desire to live as a woman."
Admittedly, my response is tinged with conclusions I’ve come to in my own life, being a gay Christian with all the struggles that entails but without any personal experience of being trans.
When I read the wonderful life stories in the Bible, the message is clear — not everyone lived “happily ever after.” Flawed by our common fallen humanity, there are many in Scripture who did not see their dreams fully realized in this life.
Yet the Lord worked through the minor chords and dark days of their lives (Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Samson, Ruth, Naomi, Jonathan, David, Paul and others) to serve His purposes.
Even the sinless Son of God left this world on the point of a spear, John 19:34, the final indignity after they cruelly crucified Him! But the view from this side the grave is only faint prelude to the glory that lies ahead.First,
I encourage you to make sure of your relationship with the Lord. In other words, know FOR SURE that you are saved. Second,
determine that you will walk with the Lord and live for Him in spite of difficulty and opposition, Romans 12:1-2.Third,
as you "Walk in the Spirit,"
day by day, Galatians 5:16, your obedient life will honor your loving Lord, by His wisdom, by His strength, by His guidance.Fourth,
What do you believe the Lord wants you to do in this complicated situation that involves so many dependent people?
People in covenant relationship with you are depending on your faithfulness, your love, your support. What leading have you received from the Lord as to your best course of action?Fifth,
I encourage you to be careful what you decide. If you decide to leave your family (not something I recommend) and pursue sexual re-assignment surgery, that course has many challenges, difficulties and expenses which may compound your problems.
If you choose sexual re-assignment surgery, will your wife stand by you in your decision? Will you still be able to fulfill your obligations to the children who are dependent on you?
If you decide not to have re-assignment surgery and instead, stay and fulfill your covenant relationships with your wife and children, there are many difficulties and struggles in that direction too.
Is it fair to your wife and dependent children to introduce an emotional and spiritual earthquake into their existence? Is not the life our Savior calls us to one of sacrifice? Does God counsel us anywhere in scripture to put ourselves first?
I believe that God wants us to live fulfilled lives but that must be balanced by the cost of uprooting the lives of so many others. Doing the right thing often requires sacrifice - yielding to God our "right" to do what we think may be most fulfilling. Scripture encourages us to believe we can experience fulfillment in Christ in spite of our circumstances.
And often, God puts us in difficult circumstances on purpose, to teach us that we MUST trust Him and that its not always about us.Please feel free to comment,
especially if you are a transsexual Christian
and have something constructive to add.
Steph's Original Question:Return to Ask A Question
All my life I have prayed to God to help me understand and to have some peace of mind about myself. When I was in my early 40s I finally came to know why I felt so out of place in any stituation. I am Transgender M2F.
My whole life I have been trying to figure out why I didn't fit in. It is because I have been hiding from who I am. Now that I have accepted this about me i have been more at peace with myself but, not any more with my life. I have tried to explain this to my wife but she refuses to accept even the possibility that it is true but it is.
I have a wife of almost 30 years and family, six step children that are raised and 5 adopted special needs children that only one of which is grow and married. 17 grandchildren. Of the 4 kids at home, two will always live with us and the two youngest, 8 yr old twins, have a 99% chance of being on their own with their own families.
I believe in God and that Jesus died for my sins, that being Transgender is not a sin, that it is a birth defect. Like so many such defects it cannot be cured but, it can be mitigated with transitioning and surgery. This is not a sin either. Jesus said "if your eye offends you cut it out, if you hand offends you cut it off, for it is better to go to heaven without them than to burn in hell." But I have obligations to a wife and kids. Now What?
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