How can a gay man in Ghana, West Africa, find friends and possibly a partner?

by Philip
(Accra, Ghana, West Africa)

Rick Brentlinger Answers -

Thanks for the good question Philip. Building close friendships is an important part of building a successful life.

You face a difficult situation in Ghana because most people are so violently opposed to gays and lesbians. In Ghana, a country with 24 million people, approximately 2 million self-identify as gay or lesbian.

Because the police refuse to protect your rights, you must conduct yourself in a way that is above reproach. Carefully chose your friends. Realize that some men who self-identify as gay are not really gay. They are sex-trade workers (male prostitutes) who are trying to make a living to feed their family.

Because I don't know you, my advice can only be general, with the hope that it will be helpful and encouraging to you.

Here is my advice for you

1. Be sure that you know Jesus as your personal Friend and Savior. He should be your best Friend. Until you know Jesus as your Savior, nothing else will make much sense. PLEASE do NOT let non-gay Christians convince you that you cannot be gay and Christian.
   
   Who is Jesus?
   
   How to know FOR SURE you are saved.
   
   
2. Be a good, reliable, trustworthy Christian friend to others. The Bible says,
   
   "A man that has friends must show himself friendly." -Proverbs 18:24
   
   That means be friendly to others, both gay and non-gay. Be the kind of man who is friendly and you will make friends in return. Of course, since Ghana is SO homophobic, it is probably best NOT to come out as a gay man in most social situations.
   
   If you find someone interesting, go up and introduce yourself. Talk to them about life in general, NOT about gay things and find out what makes them tick. Discover their interests, their dreams, their goals in life.
   
   
3. Prepare yourself for a good career by finding something you enjoy doing. Take time to train yourself. It may require you to go to University or to spend time learning a skill.
   
   Your life's work may be running your own business or it may be training to become a nurse or doctor. If you enjoy your work, it won't seem so much like work.
   
   
4. Realize that lifelong friendships are built on shared beliefs and values. Friendship takes work and time and effort. Friendship takes understanding and prayer and patience.
   
   
5. Realize that your life partner should probably be chosen from among your friends. Your partner in life must be someone with whom you share spiritual beliefs and values. Your partner in life must be someone with whom you enjoy spending time.
   
   
6. Your partner in life should be a fellow Christian. The Bible says, "How can two walk together except they be agreed?" If your partner is not a born again Christian, he will not be able to share the spiritual part of your life.
   
   
7. Focus your life on believing the Bible, living according to Biblical values and serving God with your life. Surround yourself with friends who also love God.
   
   
8. Because Ghana is so anti-gay, you may wish to consider moving to South Africa or someplace which is more gay friendly. I almost hesitate to suggest that but if that is a possibility for you, I believe it is something you should consider.
   
   God bless you as you walk the path of His purpose for your life.

Life is difficult for gays in Ghana
News about our brothers
and sisters in Ghana

In Ghana, homosexuals have no legal rights and are often the target of attack by thieves and even corrupt policemen.

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Ghana's Secret Gay Community

"When Patrick Williams told his mother he is gay, she packed his bags and threw him out of the house, disowning her son for what she saw as an evil act.

The 21 year old Ghanaian had known he was gay since he was 13, but had hesitated to tell anyone.

"I was scared and I knew in our society, it was not accepted. It was best to keep it inside me until I saw someone similar," he said...

Read the rest of the article here - Ghana's secret gay community.

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What its like to be
Gay in Ghana

"Growing up as a gay man in Ghana is really hard. People imagine that gay people are pedophiles and criminals You are taunted and harassed even as a child. At school, if people think you are gay, no one wants to play with you, or even talk to you unless it is to call you names.

Anybody that does befriend you risks being harassed too, at any age. I had a friend who was recently told he was evil and would never go to heaven because he talked to me. Pentacostal churches perform exorcisms on people seen as being gay. We're blamed for AIDS..."

Read the rest of the article here - Gay in Ghana.

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This page revised 9-10-2009