Can you help us find a church for our son who is gay?

by Shari
(USA)


Rick Brentlinger Answers -



This is an email I received recently asking for help in locating a gay-friendly church.

"My 18 year old son, who is Gay, has come out to us (his parents), but is fearful what others will think and is afraid that coming out publicly as gay will affect his career.

He loves the Lord with all his heart but believes the Pastor of his present church will reject him.

Can you help us find a church in his area?"


My first advice is to have your son read this vitally important information about Coming Out so that he understands the reasons why Coming Out is important and the reasons why Coming Out should always be the result of prayer and careful consideration of the consequences.

Coming Out 101 - Pros and Cons



Second, regardless of what is decided about Coming Out, finding a good church is vitally important for gay and lesbian Christians who believe the Bible and want to honor God with their lives.

Here is a very helpful page which explains how to find a gay-friendly, gay-affirming church which believes the Bible.

I have to be honest and say that its not always possible to find a gay-friendly church in every area. Sometimes we have to settle for something less than what we desire, which can be frustrating.

Find a Bible-believing
gay-affirming church



Third, because its not always easy to find a good church in every area, GayChristian101.com offers eDisciples Bible Study Resources. These resources enable self-study so that you can learn to feed yourself spiritually.

Interesting Bible Study resources for eDisciples.



We've answered the question: Can you help us find a church for our son who is gay? Click here to return to Gay Christian 101 Home Page.

Comments for Can you help us find a church for our son who is gay?

Click here to add your own comments

May 02, 2011
 Thanks from a straight Bible-believing Christian
by: Dava

Until I found your site, I had a loving attitude toward gay people -- I have had a really soft spot in my heart for them, actually -- but I wasn't entirely convinced that homosexuality was not condemned in the Bible (I could come up with alternative interpretations of some of the passages, but not others).

My attitude was, "If they're not Christians I shouldn't judge them or expect them to live a Christian lifestyle. My job is to lead them into a saving relationship with Christ, and if homosexuality is a sin, God will lead them to repentance. Everybody is a sinner, and their particular sin is none of my concern."

I knew someone could call themselves Christian and be gay, but I didn't know whether someone could be indwelt by the Holy Spirit and be gay. I also didn't know, because of the stereotype, how many gay people honor God with their sex lives (waiting until they make a LIFELONG commitment to ONE person).

The only gay person I know who also claims to be a Christian is my 15-year-old niece's best friend, and he is a great kid who struggles with terrible guilt. I wish I hadn't but I referred my niece to Charlene Cothran's (Venus magazine) website. Now I'm going to order your book and send it to my niece for her friend.

Oh, my point. (Sorry, I'm just excited to have someone to talk to about all of this -- I go to a conservative Christian church in Wyoming and have felt alone in my thoughts on this!)

I can't express how much I appreciate your emphasis on finding a BIBLE BELIEVING church, and your admonition that it is better to do home fellowship than go to a church that doesn't teach the Bible as the Word of God.

It frustrates me that the gay-friendly churches are also often the ones that compromise on doctrine or are more focused on ritual or social doctrine than on a relationship with the living God through the Spirit and His Word.

How do we educate other "conservative" Bible-believing Christians who love the Lord without being dismissed as liberal heretics who compromise the Word of God? How much success have you had reaching conservative pastors and churches?

I just can't imagine the number of gay people who would come to know the Lord and honor Him with their sex lives if more conservative Christians and churches could open their minds to the fact that they have been wrong about this all along.
May 02, 2011
 Your spiritual discernment is much appreciated
by: Rick Brentlinger

Hi Dava-

Thanks for your kind comments. You asked: How do we educate other conservative Bible believing Christians? We share with them what God has showed us in the scriptures. You can do that by sharing this website or by printing pages from this website and passing them out to your Christian friends. Some people also share my book with others. Here are additional ways to get the message out.

1. Practical ways to change anti-gay bias.

2. Strategies for dialogue with conservative Christians.

You asked: How much success have you had reaching conservative pastors and churches? It is a long slow process and we have not yet had much success. However, many conservative pastors already know the information on this website is true. I guess they feel they are just not yet at the place where they can share these truths with their congregation.

For example, John MacArthur and Dr. Robert Gagnon admit that the context of Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 is shrine prostitutes.

Some famous anti-gay evangelical leaders admit that the Sodom story is not about loving homosexual partnerships.

True Christians believe the Bible in context, they do not take verses out of context to teach something that is not true and they obey the leading of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes that obedience is a process that takes time. Meanwhile our job is to keep preaching and teaching the truth as it is in Jesus.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Gay Christian FAQ.
Enjoy this page? Get the html to share it with others.

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.
Site Build It! Site Build It!