A Mother's Love.

by Derrick
(Chicago, IL)



I grew up in a Christian Fundamentalist setting. My beloved great grandparents were Assembly of God preachers. My father was very adamant about fundamentalism when I was growing up although now he has come to an understanding that Christ is what matters, not legalism. We went from church to church, denomination to denomination, and we were always taught that being gay was wrong.

I knew my true sexuality from a very young age and I felt ashamed. Growing up, I prayed to God to change me. I had no identity, no sense of myself as Christ's child. In 2001, after my parents divorced and both remarried, my mother and stepfather grew very worried about me. They knew I was struggling with my sexuality. They didn't understand it and they didn't condemn it. We had been through so much hell and agony as a family already so my mother knew to value her kids over what some preacher in a pulpit said.

My stepfather, fearing that I was about to kill myself, came to my mother and said that they had to act now. They had to help me accept myself for who I was. My stepfather called the closest university, which had a GLBT center. He told them what I was going through and they mailed him a package with all kinds of literature on coming out, which explained that gay people were a normal part of God's creation.

Not long after 9/11, 2001, my mother had a talk with me. She asked me what I feared most and I told her that I feared I was falling into homosexuality, which I still believed was wrong at that time. She shook her head and told me that I no longer had to struggle. She handed me the GLBT material and told me to read it and that she loves me.

For two weeks I was terrified to open the booklets or read them. But my curiosity got the best of me. One day after school I sat down in my mother's room alone with the package and I began to read testimony after testimony of people who had just come out and met other gay people and how refreshing it was to know that they weren't along in this cold world.

But then I read Rhea Murray's story about her son Bruce. I read how much they had to struggle to live in a very homophobic community and how that experience strengthened their faith in God. Soon I began counseling with a wonderful therapist who told me that first of all, you cannot change your sexual orientation, no matter what people may tell you. Second, he said that there many churches that welcome gay and lesbian people into their family. He also told me that there were many many GLBT Christians out there who were very involved with their faith.

After the sessions I at first felt guilty. I prayed, asking God what should I do. I studied the so called clobber passages over and over and over trying to find the answer. Then, one night, God touched me, took my hand and told me that he does not condemn me. I've been washed in the blood of his holy son, there is no condemnation for those who've been washed in the blood of the lamb. He also told me that he does not condemn homosexuality, but rather, man does. God set me free from my bondage of internal homophobia.

In November of 2001 I told my counselor that I wanted to accept myself for who I was. With his guidance I began to learn more about who I was as a gay man, and I met other gay people too. It was so encouraging to know I wasn't alone. Without my parents' undying and unconditional love, I would not be here today.

And without Jesus, I never would have made it. Yes, I have faced a lot of oppression and I even had death threats in college but Jesus continues to hold my hand to this day and he will never leave my side. He is with you too, dear readers.

Just trust in him and know that Jesus Christ loves his gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender children too. Do you know that there are hundreds of millions of gay people in heaven? It is absolutely true!

So if anyone preaches against you for being gay, forgive them. This is so hard to do because I often get mad at people who are anti-gay but the reality is, they are lost in their own sin of hatred and they need to be forgiven and shown the compassion of Christ.

Pray for those who persecute you, Christ tells us. It is hard to do, believe me, but in the end, your reward will be Christ himself. And that, precious ones, is the greatest gift of all.

May you all live in peace. Being gay is not a sin, but rather it is a gift from our holy God. Be sure to explore the many helpful resources on this website to find lots of excellent information about being gay and Christian.

I pray now that you who read this will be blessed with the truth that Christ loves you regardless of your sexual orientation and gender identity. Our Lord Jesus died for everyone and He accepts everyone who comes to Him. Jesus loves his gay children, that is the truth, my friends. Amen!

Comments for A Mother's Love.

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Apr 10, 2008
Great Story - Thanks For Sharing...
by: Anonymous

I wanted to thank you for telling your story. It touched my heart to hear how God has worked in your life.

Jan 02, 2010
A mother's unconditional love
by: Anonymous

This is what the unconditional love of Jesus is all about. A mothers love. God bless you Derrick.

Nov 29, 2010
a mother's love
by: diana

you dear precious child of God... i am so thankful you had such caring, compassionate parents. you are so brave and full of faith and love!

i have a mother who loves me, but she is 91 years old, and altho she cares about me, she just doesn't want anyone to know that her daughter has the gay orientation. but i am just so glad that YOU have come out - to your parents and to others and most of all, to yourself - and to be such a light and inspiration, the man of God you are - keep your faith strong and thanks for helping me!

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