Reconciling my faith with being gay

by Scott
(Phoenix)

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Jesus saves gays and lesbians
bisexuals and transgendered people

I was raised Roman Catholic and am one of the few Catholics I know who had positive experiences with the church growing up. I have faltered in my faith as we all do but God has always been my rock and Jesus my Savior.

I've been attracted to men at least since I was a young adolescent. It was only in young adulthood that I questioned whether I was gay or bisexual but I could not accept it then, due to my culture, religion and upbringing. I've always had the dream/ideal that I would get married and have a family.

I simply told myself that I just needed to date women as much as I could and God would lead me to the one who would be my wife. I tried to suppress any desires, feelings and thoughts I had about men. I tried to pray away the gay to no avail.

Last year, at the age of 40, I had been dating a woman for two months. One day, I was thinking about how I felt about this woman. And the floodgates opened. I sobbed uncontrollably and I told myself that I could not live like this anymore. I cried aloud that I was gay and it was time to come out.

Over the period of one year, I came out to all of my friends, most of my family. and some of my co-workers. I have never felt more open, loving and at peace than during this past year.

Some of my friends and co-workers have remarked at the positive changes in me. And I have to agree. I was living in a self-imposed cocoon for so many years. I reconciled my sexuality and my identity as a gay man with my faith fairly quickly.

God wants me to be my true self, my whole self. And this was only possible once I accepted that I am a gay man. God has made me whole and I am now able to live more fully for Him.