If I become a Christian, will I be a hypocrite for still loving my gay friends?

by Stefani
(West Virginia)

Christians are not hypocrites

Christians are not hypocrites

Rick Brentlinger Answers

Thanks for asking such a timely question. I'm glad to know you are interested in becoming a Christian. Getting saved is the most important decision you will ever make.

Two thousand years ago, God stepped out of eternity into time, to pay for your sins, my sins and the sins of the whole world. Because Jesus died and paid for all our sins and because God accepted Jesus' payment for all our sins, signifying His acceptance by raising Jesus from the dead, we can be saved. When we repent of our sins and trust Jesus as our Savior, God saves us and gives us eternal life.

Now to answer your question about being a hypocrite. No, God will not consider you a hypocrite for loving your gay and lesbian friends. God loves your GLBTQ friends and God saves gays and lesbians too.

I disagree with your friend who believes that Christianity is a religion of hypocrites. Christians are human so none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we don't live up to our potential in Christ. But genuine Christians try every day to live the way Jesus wants us to live.

Related Links

Who is Jesus?

Do you know what Jesus said about hell?

Do you know what it means to believe in Jesus?

Does becoming a Christian make you heterosexual?

What does it mean to believe in Jesus?

Does the Bible say homosexuals will go to hell?

Stefani's original question:

I'm just looking into becoming a Christian and I have a friend who calls the religion a religion of hypocrites. I can't help but wonder:

If I become a Christian and I'm still friends with my gay friends and accept them as who they are, does that make me a hypocrite?

I think homosexuality is natures way of keeping the population down, so I cannot be against it but this has been driving me nuts! Please help.

This page revised November 4, 2015

Comments for If I become a Christian, will I be a hypocrite for still loving my gay friends?

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Jan 31, 2013
love your neighbor as yourself
by: luctamur

As a Christian who deals with same-sex attraction myself, I can say for sure the best thing for your gay friend is for you to continue to act like Christ to them - by loving them without condoning their sin. All creation is under the same indictment for sin and called to repent, which is why Jesus dined with sinners. Every one of us deals with temptation. Not everyone deals with the same temptations, but just because we are tempted does not mean it is ok to do whatever we feel. Jesus said whoever would follow him must deny themselves and pick up their cross daily.

For me it includes acknowledging that my lust for other guys is wrong to act out on. That does not mean I am alone - there are plenty of other Christians who struggle as I do, and also the community I already have through my church and with God is better than anything an alternative lifestyle could offer. If you want to radically transform your friend's life in a way that leads them to a life of repentance and a submission to God's will rather than their own, then give them a better alternative than what the gay community offers. No one wants to be alone. Take it from me-- they'll need your continued love more than you realize. In so doing you will be like Christ to them without condoning the sin.

Rick's comment: It is important to note that no Bible verse or Bible passage, in context, says that being gay or being in a gay relationship, is sin. You only arrive at that viewpoint by taking verses out of context to "prove" your point. If you leave the alleged anti-gay verses in context, they prohibit temple prostitution, not being in a gay relationship.

Click on any link on the NavBar under, What The Bible Says, for more information.

Jun 03, 2013
Response to Rick
by: Anonymous

That is simply not true Rick. The Bible is glaringly clear in what it says concerning homosexuality. This is true especially when taken in context. Homosexuality is a sin, just like any other sexual sin.

The attitude that the verses concerning homosexuality in the Bible don't mean what they say is a common human tendency to try to distort what the Bible says to fit our own lifestyle. This is done all the time in relation to a variety of sins, and many of us are guilty of it. At this point, it becomes "our" Bible and not God's Bible.

It is our job to give the sin in our lives up to God, no matter how difficult, and show love to those around us. I have gay friends who I care about, but I do not condone or support the sin (just as I do not want my Christian brothers and sisters supporting sinful tendencies in my own life). It is not about following a set of rules, but about living in the image of our savior and role model, Jesus Christ.

Rick's comment: It seems clear you have not studied the clobber passages in context. Had you taken time to study in context, you would know that none of the clobber passages is in the context of two gay guys or two gay gals falling in love and getting married.

When you assert that gays think the Bible doesn't mean what it says, that is a straw man. No Bible believing gay Christian that I know takes that position.

ALL scripture is given in a context. Whenever anyone prefers to ignore context or separates a verse from its context, rest assured they have an agenda that is not friendly to truth.

Jun 04, 2013
I must disagree
by: Anonymous

Respectfully, I must disagree once again. I do, in fact, study the Bible within the context it was written (to the best of my ability). This relates to culture, time period, language, etc. This is precisely what leads me to my present viewpoint.

Becoming defensive and assigning nicknames to certain passages (which I made no specific mention of) does not change what the text says, in context. Not everything has to be complex, and what the Bible says concerning this topic is fairly simple. Forcing complexities is a way to justify and contextualize sinful desires, making us desensitized to them. I know because I have been guilty of this myself.

Rick's comment: In spite of your claim to not be passive, you exhibit passive aggressive tendencies. When I point out your lack of attention to context, you accuse me of becoming defensive. Then you close with "I do not hate you" and you speak of showing your love to us by speaking up about tough issues.

Forcing complexities, really? Even the leading anti-gay conservative scholars agree with me on the context. I have taken the time to read their books and presented the quotes on my website.

You, on the other hand, while claiming to study context, have not, in fact, done so. For that reason you can only make assertions which contradict reality.

I would like to state that I do not hate you, or homosexuals, or anybody else. I am a person with my own bag of sin. However, being passive and not speaking up about tough issues such as this will not show love to you or my other brothers and sisters in Christ.

Rick's comment: Since no one accused you of hate, it is odd that you protest that you do not hate us and insist that you love us but you must be tough and tell us "the truth." Typical passive aggressive stance but no facts to support your views. Yawn.

Jun 27, 2013
it is clear though
by: Anonymous

I'm perplexed here. Isn't a man lying down with another man clearly mentioned in Leviticus?

Rick's comment: Man lying with man is mentioned in the context of worshiping false gods, like the goat demons and goat idols of Lev 17:7 and Molech in Lev 18:21-22 and 20:2, 3, 4, 5, 13.

1. Lev 17:7 and goat idols, part 1

2. Lev 17:7 and goat idols, part 2

3. Lev 17:7 establishes context

4. To whom is the Book of Leviticus addressed?

5. With what pagan practices did God link the Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 prohibitions?

6. What are shrine prostitutes?

That verse does not mention women with women, but Christians seem to generally recognize that the verse applies to both sexes. I don't understand how that message about same-sex relationships could be missed.

Rick's comment: The truth of scripture is often missed by those with an agenda and those who refuse to study the context.

BTW, my closest friend is gay and we've been best friends for two decades, long before I became a Christian. I'm so happy to have him in my life, but am sad that he lost his beliefs years ago. He doesn't seem to mind that he no longer has that faith in Jesus, and I wonder if he is as at peace with his decisions as he says he is.

Rick's comment: Could it be that your attitudes and your refusal to factor in context have helped drive your friend away from Jesus? If you truly love your friend, you can demonstrate that love by obeying 2 Tim 2:15 and factoring in context as you rightly divide the word of truth.

The links I've provided are a great place to start.

Sep 17, 2013
Leviticus 18:22
by: Anonymous

Rick, There is another verse in Leviticus in which the subject is drawn upon. In there it clearly states that a man should not lie with another man as it is an "abomination". You can't possibly argue that this is out of context as the subheading for this section in both the NIV and ESV versions is, "Unlawful Sexual Relations". The verse is as follows:

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." Leviticus 18:22 ESV

Rick's comment: Goat demons and cult prostitutes and the false god Molech and child sacrifice are mentioned in Leviticus so that the children of Israel (and we) will know that the real issue is worship of Jehovah, the true God.

The context is that God hates pagan religious practices like shrine prostitution and worship of demon gods, like the worship of Molech and by implication, the worship of his fertility goddess consort, Ashtoreth.

1. The context of Leviticus is not lesbians.
2. The context of Leviticus is not gay men.
3. The context of Leviticus is not bisexuals.
4. The context of Leviticus is not transgender people.

By the way, I already answered this in the previous comment. Please read the links I provided in that in depth answer. Many thanks.

Sep 21, 2013
Rick's wrong
by: Todd

I know to many gays that once they were saved God convicted them of thier lifestyle.... and they had never even read Lev. Or very much else in the bible at that point. When you truly get saved and the Holy Spirit enters your body you will change... And being gay is not a sin as you say Rick then why are so many gays being convicted of it??

Rick's comment: Hi Todd. I think you are working from old and outdated information. Exodus International - the largest ex-gay ministry in the world, has closed its doors. They admitted that attempting to change someone's sexual orientation did NOT work.

You may know gays who got saved and stopped drinking and drugging or who stopped engaging in promiscuous sex. You don't know any gays who got saved and changed their innate sexual orientation. I encourage you to do more reading and study on this issue. Many thanks.

Sep 21, 2013
i lived it
by: todd

I lived it Rick. Ive been in jails and institutions. I have lived the deliving power of God before I even studied God's Word. IT sounds crazy to me that God parted the Red Sea but try convicing the Israelites that were there it didn't happen. You can't do it. No more that you can tell me that God didn't convict me of my sins and change me.

Men having sex with men is a sin God spoke it to my heart. Before I even read the BIble. Im not an educated man like you are Ive done time in jail but God forgave my of my sins and now Im free. I dont have to live that way anymore and i aint required to be an intellectual to hear what God says to my heart.

Sometimes not be so smart is a blessing it makes trusting Gods word so much easier. I think that what Jesus was saying in the Beatitudes. Ask God to show you what He is saying and get self oit of the way and then you will find the Truth. No one can argue with a persons testimony. I lived what im saying!!

Rick's comment: Two marks of a genuine Christian are: he loves Jesus his Savior and he loves God's written word.

(1) You have been careful not to say you used to be a gay man until you got saved.

(2) You have been careful not to say that once God saved you, He changed you from being gay to being straight.

(3) You have been careful not to give your full name so that we can check out your story.

It is certainly possible that you were a bisexual or straight man who used to have sex with men but who no longer does that. Yet as you know, that is far different from being innately gay, Matthew 19:12.

(4) I am always amazed when someone writes to me and alleges that God told them something different than what the Bible says in context, as you have done.

I note that you have also ignored the truth about Exodus International and the amazing fact that they shut down their ministry because by their own testimony, the ex-gay ministry does not work.

Jan 13, 2015
Please God not Man
by: Christian

Life is short and eternity is a long time to make the wrong choices! I believe in being filled with the holy ghost and only then do you truly understand Gods word. You can argu with man all day long but only what is right in Gods eyes is what matters. My prayer is that more and more people will listen to the convictions of the holy ghost and follow where God leads them which is living a holy lifestyle. God does love everyone. But the bible also says many will be called but few will be chosen.

Rick's comment: Please forgive me for being skeptical of comments like yours. When a man professes to speak the truth yet lacks courage to use his real name with his "truth," it makes me doubt what he says.

What must I do to be saved?

Jul 03, 2015
The last comment and your reply to it
by: Aaron Saltzer

You do realize that "Christian" can be a person's name, don't you?

Jan 10, 2016
1 timothy 1:10
by: Christian

Look read 1 timothy 1:10 specifically talks about sin and when is says men it means men as in all humans I not grammatically smart but the holy spirit does lead me I wasnt even looking up this subject I was actually looking up "if Im a Christian how do i know if I become a hypocrite" GOD does things in mysterious ways so yeah
When Jesus seen the women about to get stoned and he said to the people who are going to stone her grab the stone out of my hand for who has not sinned and everybody dropped their scent stones one by one and no one was left and he picked her up and told her C where are you judges and told her to go and sin no more so basically just saying the he will show us what's in it and bring this the knowledge of it the Holy Spirit will make us convicted about it meaning to feel so we have to move on with Christ and take a bar cross in deny ourselves and live by his code yes which means forgiveness but it doesn't mean that you have a license to sin so just now that homosexuality is a sin.

Rick's comment: Hi Christian - Thanks for sharing that with us.

Jan 14, 2016
Being friend with homosexuals
by: Gerry

God teaches us to Love. God is LOVE and HE loves us regardless. I believe that it is important that we love one another no matter who are what they are or believe. We do not love the sin but we love the person. In order for us to shine GOD's LIGHT on others, we need to be in their midst. We are to compel others but if we withdraw from others because we do not agree with a lifestyle then we cannot reach them. We must remember that if GOD withdrew from us because of our lifestyle, none of us would be saved. It is HIS LOVE that has saved us and it is HIS LOVE ABIDING IN US THAT WE MUST PERMEATE AND DRAW OTHERS TO HIM THAT THEIR LIVES WILL BE CHANGED AS WELL.

Rick's comment: What must I do to be saved?

Mar 12, 2016
by: Ann

The Bible plainly says it is a sin for a man to lay with a man as he would with a woman. Same as a woman who would lay with another woman. you gay people want to live in sin and it be alright. Well it might be alright with the world but not with God.you can not be a Christian and be gay.

Rick's comment: Hi Ann- Thanks for visiting my website. I hope you will not assume that what you currently believe on this issue is your final answer. It takes diligent study to learn the Bible in context.

Would it surprise you to learn that no verse of scripture used to condemn gays and lesbians, does that, when considered in context? For more information, click on any NavBar button under, What The Bible Says.

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