How do I know if me and my boyfriend have been joined by God?

by Dominique Robbins
(Colorado Springs, CO)


Rick Brentlinger Answers -


That's an excellent question Dominique. The Bible tells us: “examine yourselves whether you are in the faith." 2 Corinthians 13:5.

So, the first thing is to make sure both you and your boyfriend are saved according to the Bible. I encourage you to take the Good Person Test to help determine if you are trusting your own goodness or if you have repented of your sins the Bible way and are trusting Jesus Christ alone.

Once you know for sure that both of you are saved for eternity, its time to do the second thing. Give yourselves a relationship checkup. Many couples, gay or straight, have never given themselves a spiritual CAT scan to examine their motives for being together.

For saved people, God is a non-negotiable part of their union, relationship, partnership, marriage. I encourage you to pray as King David prayed. “Search me, O God, and know my heart.” Psalm 139:23.
Spiritual CAT Scan Questions
  1. How did you meet?

  2. What initially attracted you to each other?

  3. Can you see God's hand in the circumstances of your meeting and then, in your growing attraction and friendship?

  4. Is your attraction for each other mostly physical and sexual or is it more emotional and spiritual?

  5. Do you enjoy going to church together?

  6. Do you enjoy witnessing for Jesus and passing out tracts together?

  7. Do you pray aloud together for yourselves and others?

  8. Is God an important part of your day by day relationship?

  9. Is your shared love for God the foundation of your relationship?

  10. Is your relationship with your boyfriend based on unselfish love for each other or is it based on self-gratification?

  11. Are you together because you believe God wants you together or for some other reason?

  12. Are you together because you both believe you can serve God better as a couple or for other reasons?

  13. Does the Holy Spirit bear witness in your hearts that He wants you to partner as a couple for life?

  14. Does the Holy Spirit bear witness that He does not want you to partner with each other?

Fireworks not included

Great partnerships, including those which are definitely the work of God, do not come with heavenly flashing lights, chills and thrills and angel choirs singing in the background. Most of the time God just doesn't work that way in our lives.

What God does is give us guidance: (1) through His written word, (2) through circumstances, (3) through the desires of our hearts, (4) through the wise advice of family, friends and pastors who love us and have our best interests at heart.

If God operated through flashing lights and prophetic utterances all the time, there would be no need for faith. The Bible says: "The just (saved people) shall live by faith." Hebrews 10:38

Faith does NOT mean that we make the decision and then hope God will bless it. Faith means acting on what God has said in the Bible or acting on God's leading in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. It is good to remind ourselves that the Holy Spirit will never lead us to do something which the Bible tells us not to do.

Once the two of you have prayed together and separately about these things, you will be in a position to decide if you have been joined together by God. As you walk in obedience to the Lord day by day, the Holy Spirit will bear witness in your hearts about your relationship.

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