How do gays fit into sex roles and gay parenthood?
Connie Brentlinger, my Mom
Rick Brentlinger Answers -
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The Bible addresses mainly heterosexual marriage partnerships because those represent 90% to 95% of people on earth. Yet even in scripture there is wide latitude in parenting styles and wide latitude in what makes a marriage in the Bible.
Although many people believe the only kind of marriage God will bless is the Adam and Eve
model, anyone familiar with the Bible knows God also blessed many other marriage models.
When we think about parental roles, the Bible doesn't give us much information. I think this is intentional because God gave us reasoning ability and common sense with the expectation that we would use those resources to address the many different situations families face.
In some same sex marriages, there may be a dominant partner who fills the place of the "man" while the less dominant partner fills the place of the "woman."
In other same sex partnerships, there may be two feminine men or two masculine men or two lipstick lesbians or two butch lesbian plumbers. Yet it would be wrong to place same sex relationships in a box, as if they should all be stereotypical.
I remember an incident from my childhood which displayed my mother's ingenuity, her ability to think outside the box and her refusal to allow expected roles to rule her decision making.
Our washing machine quit working. Mom called the repairman who, after examining the machine, told her it had a bad transmission. The cost for him to remove the old transmission and install a new one was $100.00.
My frugal mother, rarely intimidated by any challenge, asked if this was a job she could tackle herself. The repairman assured her it was relatively simple and carefully explained how to do the job, then sold her a new transmission.
Mom removed the old transmission, installed the new transmission, checked all the wiring, replaced the back on the washing machine and it worked perfectly.
The point of the story is that my masculine Dad would never have bothered trying to fix the washing machine himself. My feminine mother, because she was frugal and because she enjoyed a challenge, had no qualms about doing what many back then considered a man's job.
If heterosexuals can swap roles in that way, why should anyone be surprised or offended if homosexuals swap parental roles from time to time? Children need love above all else. Being loved by two honest, decent, same sex parents is a big step toward raising happy, well-adjusted, healthy children, regardless of how people view the roles each parent filled.
I'd love to hear what others think about the "proper" way that two men in committed partnership or two women in committed partnership should handle the roles which are traditionally reserved for men or women. Feel free to comment.
Orlando's Original Question:When is it appropriate for a same sex couple to begin a sexual relationship?
I have some questions about this issue. Are sex roles a cultural thing, or a divine thing?
The Bible also teaches how the husband has to behave with his wife, and vice versa. How do gays fit in this teachings? Do we have to make our own teachings?
I think that the love of a male is different from the love of a female. Are those 'loves' necessary for the healthy of the child? Thanks.
Since gay couples cannot legally marry is sex in a committed relationship sin?
Is there any evidence of an actual gay marriage in the Bible?