How can I reconcile being lesbian and Christian?

by Jane
(USA)

Great question Jane. There is no single verse which says gay and lesbian relationships are okay. I'm sometimes asked: Is there any evidence of an actual gay marriage in the Bible? My answer is, it depends.

Does something have to be in the Bible for it to be fine with God? There's no verse of scripture which says airplanes or air conditioning or central heat or grocery stores or computers or brain surgery are okay. Yet we don't refuse those things because we can't find a verse which says they're okay. Let's apply common sense reasoning to the gay marriage issue.

Accepting lesbian and gay marriages / relationships is partly a common sense issue and partly a scriptural issue. Anti-gay Christians always try to make it only a scriptural issue. They take verses out of context and insist they mean something the verses could never mean in context. Some insist that God will only bless a marriage between a man and a woman.

Some anti-gay Christians insist that sex in a committed gay relationship is always sinful.

I wrote my book and website to help people sort through these issues in a Biblical, believing, Christian, Spirit-filled, God-honoring way. When we do that, we discover that the Bible is not talking about gays and lesbians.

Sorting through complex issues is not an overnight process. It requires reading, prayer, study and thought and more reading, study, prayer and thought until truth replaces the false teaching so many of us received on the gay issue.

The best advice I can give you is to go through each of the clobber passages, especially the ones which most trouble you and learn the material on my website and in my book. On the website NavBar, under, What The Bible Says, is a good place to start. If you want to get my book, its available here. You can read reviews of my book and comments about it here.

You may also want to spend some time reading and digesting the answers to common questions people ask about being lesbian and Christian, which can be found at our Gay Christian FAQ.

Every GLBT Christian has to make a decision. Will I live by the opinion of Christians who try to put me under Old Testament Law, who try to guilt me into living by their out of context misunderstanding of the Bible OR will I live by what the word of God says, in context?

God commands Christians to live in freedom, Galatians 5:1 - "Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage."

If we listen to Christians who tell us we're not free, we are not standing fast in Christ's liberty. If we allow them to put us under Law, we get entangled with the yoke of bondage and that is not God's will for our lives.

God warns us that if we try to live by the Old Testament Law, we MUST keep ALL of it, not just some parts.

Galatians 3:10 - "For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse: for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them."

Romans 6:14 - "For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under
the law, but under grace."

I choose to live in the freedom wherewith Christ has made us free, under God's grace.

I hope this is helpful to you. If you have more questions, please feel free to contact us again.

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Original question:

I am a Christian woman searching for some answers. I am wholly, completely, and absolutely saved. By grace through faith, sealed until the day of redemption. But I am also wholly, completely and absolutely in love with another woman. I have read the Bible through more than once, attended a Christian high school and college, and have had several unfulfilling heterosexual relationships.

But I know without a doubt, like I know my own name that woman I am with right now is who I was made for and who was made for me. But how do I reconcile the two? Is there somewhere I have missed that specifically states that same sex relationships are okay?

I mean loving, committed monogamous ones? I have read many different people's interpretations of the "clobber" verses. Gen, Lev, Romans, and so on. I have read the pros and the cons. And they all have points.

They are all, (well some) written by educated, well-versed people. I have always believed that homosexuality was biblically wrong. But here I am, in a committed loving relationship with a person of the same sex. Is it all about interpretation? Or is there a end all, ironclad piece of scripture that will direct me in the way that I should go? Thank you for taking the time to read this.